Dear God
by deathwinged
Summary: Another fic off of the "I couldn't find you scene". Spoilers for 6:14 and long shot/doubtful spoilers for 6:15 and beyond.


Disclaimer: I do not own anything Lost or Lost related. Title is from Avenged Sevenfold's song Dear God.

A/N: Spoilers for ep 6:14, long shot/doubtful spoilers for ep 6:15

Summary: Of course the whole "I couldn't find you" scene totally hit the JATE spot and I had to write a little something something about it.

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This was their chance, their chance to finally get off this god forsaken island. They were going to get on that submarine and go home, to live their lives, to start over, to do what they please, while I live my life still on the island. I was never meant to leave the island in the first place, and now it was my new home. Yet again nothing ever goes right whenever there is a chance to escape.

Everything around me turned into slow motion as I turn around and see Kate go down. I look and fire back before I make my way to her, "Kate!?" I yell. She's bleeding profusely as I carry her to the sub. Making our way through, I lay her down. She tries to sit up, asks about Claire, gripping and gasping my shoulder in pain. I tell her to relax and that everything will be okay. I hate seeing her like this, I want to kill the man who shot her, if it were any closer she'd be dead. With no first aide kit, I ask Jin to hand over my pack, another thing gone wrong.

We start to argue about the bomb and I'm trying to stop the bleeding. Sawyer pulls the wires and for a second we thought we were safe, wrong. Sayid takes the bomb and runs, seconds later there's an explosion and we're being capsized by water. Kate's head is under water and I move to pick her up. I hand her over to Hurley and direct him to get her out of here. Everything happened so fast. Sawyer and I are trying to help Jin free Sun, then Sawyer getting hurt and now unconscious. Jin tells me to get Sawyer out of here, but I know I can't just leave them here, both Jin and Sun look at me, we all look at each other, remembering. Making my way out with Sawyer, I can only hope that they get out safely.

Sawyer and I make it back to the beach, I drop him down, and he thankfully coughs. I kneel next to him, exhausted and out of breath. No site of Jin and Sun, they should have been out by now. Caught up in my thoughts I didn't hear Kate calling my name.

"Jack…" she says, I look up to find her and Hurley dropping down to the sand.

"I couldn't find you…I couldn't find you." She cries as she pulls me into an embrace, it feels like an eternity.

"Is he okay?" Hurley asked.

"He got hit in the head pretty hard, but he's breathing."

"What about Jin and Sun?" I sadly look at her and nod my head. Kate and Hurley start to cry and I find myself standing up and walking back to the water. I look up to the night sky and let all my emotions wash over me. Why was this happening? The only thing they ever wanted was to go home, why was that so hard? After I compose myself I walk back to possibly the only survivors left.

"What are we going to do Jack?" Hurley asks.

"We need to find shelter. Widmore can't be at all the facilities, I need to clean Kate's wound so it doesn't get infected and Sawyer can't just lie on the sand."

"We better get a move on it then."

"I'll carry Kate, can you get Sawyer?"

"Yeah, I'm on it."

"Thanks Hurley."

Though it would have been easier to walk through the jungle with sunlight, or any light for that matter, they eventually made it to the main building. Doing a quick scan of the area, Widmore's men were no where to be seen, they either had left, or were never there. We find a room with some beds and Hurley puts Sawyer down.

"I'm going find us some food."

"Okay Hurley." I walk over to Sawyer and he's passed out. "Kate I'm going to find a first aide kit, you stay here."

"No, I'll go with you."

"Kate you need to rest."

"No, I want to go with you. I can't…"

"It's alright, come on." I say as she leans on me.

Holding onto Kate, we make our way to the next building. Luckily a few of the lights still worked so we were able to see if there was anything useful inside. The adjoining room had been a little nurse's station, nothing major, just for minor wounds and such. Setting Kate down on another bed, I moved to find some supplies.

"This is going to sting." I tell her. She nods, and then I proceed to clean the wound. She winces in pain as the alcohol hits her skin. While attending to her injury, we are in complete silence. I hand her some antibiotics and she takes them with ease. We sit there for a while before the silence was broken.

"I was so scared Jack." She whispers. "When you weren't on the beach I was afraid that you were…"

"It's alright, everything is fine now." I say moving closer to her.

"Why won't you leave with us Jack?" she asks me seriously.

"I was never meant to leave in the first place Kate. For some reason, I'm meant to be here, I feel that I want to be here, as strange as that sounds, and…" I trail off.

"And what Jack?"

"I don't want to hurt you anymore."

She looks at me with pleading eyes. "What?"

"I don't want to hurt you anymore Kate. All I do is hurt you."

"Jack…"

"No, let me finish. I love you Kate, we both know that. But all I've done is hurt you, and hurt people around us. Whatever happened in the past, we were stupid, we let the worse get to us. I'm not doing that anymore. I don't want to put you in any more danger or in any situation where you'll get hurt. Hell you were just shot."

"That wasn't your fault Jack. You didn't shoot me, Widmore's people did."

"Still, you could have died, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

"Jack even if anything bad were to really happen, I'd still haunt you." She joked.

"That's not very funny Kate."

"You know I was kidding. But seriously, don't beat yourself up too bad Jack. We can't stop things from happening, they just happen. I do love you Jack, I truly do. I do understand that you love me enough that you have to let me go." She then moves to face me and places her hand on my cheek.

"But here's the thing, you may be able to let go, but I'm not. We're going to get through this together, even if that means living on this island with you."

"Kate I can't…"

"Zip it. What's done is done." I can't help but laugh at the woman in front of me.

"So what's next then?" she asks.

I caress her hand and smile. She knows that I love her, nothing will every change that. I take her hand into mine, "This is war."

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